Like Grandpa says, "That's why they call it work"

When I was growing up, nobody told me to "follow my passion".  If I loved a job passionately, no one would have to pay me to go there.

My dream was to act for a living.  I had parts in the high school performances and at the Pittsburgh Playhouse.  One day my favorite high school teacher said that, essentially because of my solid suburban upbringing, I wasn't "broken" enough to be a professional actor.  Decades later I remain thankful for his honesty.

But when my son said that instead of pursuing biomedical engineering he was going to major in English and Philosophy, I kept my concerns to myself.  I didn't try to talk him out of it because fortunately he went to a school where you can probably major in Cheese for Fine Dining and still get a good job when you graduate.  And he did.  Get a good job, not major in Cheese.

  +Dartmouth 

Maybe that's why it was easier to swallow when Mackenzie announced in her senior year of high school that she didn't want to major in Chemistry after all.  She wanted to be a Worship Leader. Okay, that's not a high paying career, but it is a career, and she got music scholarships to a great Christian university and so off she went.

+Mackenzie Elliott 

Then it got really hard.  She didn't fit into the world of worship leading.  She has too much of an edge, is a little too liberal, a lot too independent.  She prayed and thought about it and got advice and decided to be a pop singer.  That's a career, too, but an ultra-competitive, high risk career. So what now? How do parents support a high risk endeavor without becoming a perpetual safety net?

Well, we've agreed that she has our support as long as she is in school.  We know other parents who agree to support part of their artist's expenses, or only for a limited period of time.  Some let their kids live at home, others cut the cord completely and wish them well.  I met a dad at The Voice whose daughter moved to L.A. when she was 18 and he sees her about once a year because neither of them can afford to visit each other on opposite coasts.

I won't know for years whether or not we are doing this right.  But if we can help her go for this while she is still young, before the obligations of work and marriage and family crowd out everything else, then we'll do that.

We're in agreement and we're behind her and we're praying for her.  And we all understand that the safety net doesn't last forever. She wouldn't want it to.  She has BIG plans.  And some new YouTube videos (mom plug again):  https://www.youtube.com/user/kenzielynne91

Parenting a Performer - Nobody Talks About the $$

One of the main questions I keep trying to tactfully ask other parents of aspiring artists is

HOW THE HECK DO YOU PAY FOR ALL THIS?  (Just try to picture yourself asking that tactfully.  It can't be done.)

Because I am pretty sure that whether your child wants to sing in stadiums, dance with a professional ballet, or play hockey for a living, it all costs a lot of money.  For a singer/songwriter, it takes training and song production and photography and videography and artwork and studio musicians and band members and a website ...


+Mackenzie Elliott's website is a work in process...

I always thought you performed every gig you could and sent your music to every record label you knew of and hopefully you got discovered! That still happens, but there are other ways to have a music career and other ways to fund it.

One thing I've learned is that almost every upcoming artist is doing something else in addition to music.  Waiting tables, building houses, working retail, anything that is flexible enough to allow an artist to develop their music while also paying the rent.

Here is what else I've learned:

• Some people have sponsors.  It might be a development label,  a PR firm, a music business friend or it might be Mom and Dad.  Someone has taken them on and is covering their costs. 
• Hitting the road is still the way a lot of people go. We met the parents of a country singer whose daughter has been traveling all over the country for years, sleeping in the van, eating at 7-11. Her mom and dad worry about her every day but she's making progress.
• Kickstarter is a great option AFTER you have a fan base established.  Don't go asking for money if you haven't earned the right to ask.  Everyone, even your friends and family, wants to "invest" in something they think has a good chance of succeeding, because it is really fun to be a part of that. 
• YouTube could be one of the best things of all time to happen for singer/songwriters.  It lowers the barriers to entry significantly and if you are successful, you can build up a brand before you ever try to tour or catch a label's attention.
• Reality shows like American Idol, The Voice, America's Got Talent, The X Factor . . . they are all extreme long shots but why not try? 

There's no single path to making a living as an artist. Whichever one your son or daughter takes, make sure they know how to go charm those restaurant customers for big tips in the meantime.

Do people really get onto The Voice through open casting?

The Voice has posted open casting dates for the next season, and some people have asked whether I think it is worth the time and money for their son or daughter to audition.  One person showed me her online research on the Top 12 finalists in Season 4, and I admit, it is daunting.  Most of the people who get chosen for The Voice are really accomplished performers with many years of experience and established industry connections.

Mackenzie went to open casting twice before getting a blind audition.  The first time, we went to Chicago so she could audition for Season 3. 

+Mackenzie Elliott's Voice Season 3 Open Casting

There were probably 6,000 people there to audition and we waited in line with her for hours. Take water, take snacks, take a great attitude, because unless you want to bring crack of dawn morning voice to your audition, it will be a looooonnnnggg wait.  I think you have to be at least 16, and they let parents in with the under-18 minors.

Mackenzie was the only one in her audition group who completed her entire song before hearing "thank you", but she did not get a callback. It was pretty darn heartbreaking for her and thousands of other people.

The next year, she and some friends from Belmont auditioned in Memphis for Season 4.  A year after her Season 3 audition, she had progressed in her singing ability and refined her "look", kind of a more feminine Rosie the Riveter.  Yep, it definitely helps to differentiate yourself from the crowd.

+Mackenzie Elliott, photo credit Christi Dittrich

Plenty of fear, plenty of angst, but she did get a callback and ultimately got a blind audition. And Mackenzie got to hug Usher, Shakira and ADAM LEVINE (caps hers, probably for the rest of her life).

I have heard that some of the other reality shows are not as friendly.  Some of them create artificial conflict among the contestants or even within the contestants' families.So if you go into this, go into it understanding that TV is for entertainment.  Period. Everything is recorded and every recording can be edited, so mind what you say. And the stars are the stars and everything they do is going to be more important than anything your son or daughter does.

So if you're considering a reality show audition, here's my advice.  Go for it.  Realize the odds against success are enormous, but you never know unless you try.  Don't be a diva. And for heavens sake, remember that the microphone is ALWAYS ON.