Growing a thicker skin

When I had my children, I was shocked by how deeply I loved those babies.  Just as deeply as falling in love with my husband, but different.  For the first time in my life, I knew I would be willing to die to protect them.  Maybe even kill. At a minimum, inflict some serious pain.

As my kids grew up and I learned to let them go, little by little, I still didn't lose that Mother-Bear-Defend-Them-to-the-Death attitude.

And when the coach kept my child on the bench, when the director gave someone else the part, when the cute boy/girl broke their heart, I was angry or heartbroken along with them.  But I tried (emphasis on tried) to keep it inside because I know that these are the things that shape and guide us and help us to figure out who we are.  Over the years, I grew a slightly thicker skin when it came to my kids.  Slightly.

But now I am going to have to grow a much thicker skin.  Fur coated, dense, virtually impenetrable. 

My son works in advertising.  His successes and shortcomings are his own, known by him, his co-workers, his customers.  His performance reviews are not published online.  I like this about his career.

Mackenzie's world is different.  Because she wants to be a professional singer/songwriter, her work is evaluated openly, critically, publically.

http://www.youtube.com/user/kenzielynne91

People criticize her for being too commercial (it's her ART, quit focusing about making a living!), for doing a cover from their favorite singer (how dare she!), for not doing a cover of their favorite singer (doesn't she know what she should be singing?).  She has fans who tweet and post in the hope of dating her, and not all of them are completely in their right minds.

And she has already warned me that it could get a lot worse.  Someone created a fake sex tape of Carly Rae Jepsen. Mackenzie said "Can you imagine how her mom felt???".

So she guards her privacy.  She is careful not to geotag many of her posts and doesn't respond to inappropriate and negative tweets.  In the world of everybody-shares-everything, this is good practice for all of us, but especially important for someone whose career choice means living under public scrutiny.

And in the meantime, I will work on growing a thicker skin, impervious to the wounds that will be inflicted on my cherished daughter.  If you have any ideas on how to speed up the process, I sure would love to hear them.
+Mackenzie Elliott

It's a marathon, not a sprint

I'm training to run a half marathon in October.  I haven't run a race since 8th grade, but it raises money for WorldVision and I'm passionate about that organization and so I'm doing this.  When you train for a marathon, you run 3 miles, then 5, then 3, then 6 . . . forward, back, further forward.

Because of reality TV and some breakout performances, there's a perception that a performing career happens overnight, but it doesn't.  It's more like a marathon than a sprint.  Unless you are the one in a million, this stuff takes time. Michelle Chamuel and the Swon Brothers have been working at this for years and years (The Voice is still my only context for reality show reality, sorry).

It's forward, back, further forward.  Repeat.

That's Wise Elissa on the left.
She's awesome.

When Mackenzie arrived in Nashville,

she felt like she was already too old
at age 20.
But her wise friend Elissa
kept reminding her,
"You can't compare your beginning
to someone else's middle."

The important thing is to begin.  Mackenzie's been reading +Jon Acuff 's new book, START.  She heard him speak at at an event for musicians and couldn't wait to get the book.  It's great if you are starting or if you are starting over. And everyone has to start over at some point, so you need to just go buy this book and just keep it handy.

Athletes, performers, me, pretty much everyone with a big goal has to approach it like a marathon. Have a short memory for the inevitable setbacks. Have a plan that changes when it needs to. Remember that a lot of the battle is in your head.
But START.  And TRAIN.  And DO.

+Mackenzie Elliott in her classical music life. Cute updo but definitely not her.

+Mackenzie Elliott in her classical music life.
Cute updo but definitely not her.

I've watched Mackenzie take this approach and go from a misplaced classical voice major to someone who has the guts to become a pop singer.            
In Nashville.

I'm so proud of her, because she has already done the hardest part - she's started!  And she's got a plan that changes when needed. And she battles the demons of fear and uncertainty and just keeps moving forward.  Forward, back, further forward.  Repeat.

Latest Mom brag - new music videos here:  http://www.youtube.com/user/kenzielynne91